Patchouli does really linger, Ive had clothes from a shop that burns incense for over a year that still smell faintly of patchouli. Are you using patchouli scented anything at home? The main issue I have with this response is that its putting the onus on the LW to handle the issue, and thats just not fair. But it sounds like a cant win for losing situation :(. When she complained, I told her she could either get a doctors note and take it HR, she could quit, or she could go pound sand. 4. I personally hate perfumes of any kind, and I know people who get migraines from them. Every. Oh man every time I see someone on here who has sniffling as a trigger I feel a little guilty. It was untrue and unkind. Im not, and Ive told her Im not. I was wondering about the timing of these complaints, OP mentions they started about a month ago, did anything happen at that time between OP and this coworker? Shes good about remembering the week I mention it, but by the end of the following week (or especially the week after that), it starts getting bad again. I have a friend who wears it, and he hugged me once while I was wearing a coat. I was thinking that too. (Again, I am not wearing ANY perfume, my deodorant is unscented, I shower every morning and my body wash is lightly lemon scented and doesnt stick around.) Period, full stop. ^^namelesscommentater said what I was thinking.^^. And certain West African men wear cologne. I agree that Alison has given you some very good advice and some good conversational points to start with. I'm actively looking for a new position elsewhere. You can do what you can to not overtly smell of fragrance, but I would be pissed if a coworkers extremely sensitive nose caused my employer to change my lifestyle so drastically outside of work. Sometimes its a subtle smell their bodies give off, sometimes its body odor after a day of work. Then try to have a calm, sensible conversation with someone while exposed to that irritant. Colds typically go away on their own after about a week. Yeah I agree its rude of the coworker. not wearing perfume to work). My sister had a theory that putting patchouli on the soles of her feet somehow cleansed the impurities out of her system. Oh, thats a really good observation. That usually means they are fooling around or are a snitch. It could be that the coworker hasnt realized they have the issue, not our delightful LW. You can always go to HR on the day she complains about your scent, and point blank ask them if they smell it. OP could also ask the HR person if they can smell anything on them. If you have a fabric covered chair for instance, the fabric might have absorbed some patchouli prior to this incident. But I was young and naive and I said all I had done was use soap (which was standard issue and unscented) before I left the restroom. Yep, I worked at a Panda Express for a few months almost 10 years ago. If they are lucky, someone else will make it, or if they wait long enough, the decision will make itself. Am I the only one whos honestly shocked about how were trying to make the OP tiptoe around her co-worker? Not just no, but hell no. Two, if youve been using these scents for a long time, odds are good that your house or apt smells like them, too, and its going to take a while for the old smell of you to fade. LW has gone above and beyond in their accommodation. She pounced on that and tried to make it seem like using soap was somehow inconsiderate. Its not like youre shoving incense sticks up her nostrils. Let go of the guilt. I've developed some really unhealthy hostile feelings about people that trigger my misphonia daily. Another thing that helps is do things that help hyperventilating - like holding breath for a bit. I think the most you can do is to politely ask someone not to wear a specific perfume that is bothering you, not ask them to buy new toiletries/detergents/do a deep scrub of their clothes(!?). Most wearers would recognize such disgust like the OP did and stop wearing it but I can see others loving it so much that they would not give it up. The friend I was travelling with very kindly loaned me a clean T-short and knickers, which did not end well. Negatively challenge your work or attack your work values in the office. But, it might be that your area is still retaining some of the scents you were wearing previously. Is it possible that the oil-based scents are lingering in something that doesnt get laundered very oftenmaybe a coat or even shoes? Apparently it made her sick when she was pregnant with me. Their idea of unscented is, to me, to just kill me with a scent I cant define. If I were in this spot, I swear at this point I would assume shes only doing this to bother me. Coworker is being bratty and mean in a way that suggests she feels helpless (so, bullying but thinks she is the victim), and your suggestions were right on target for that aspect of the situation. Advertising on our site helps support our mission. If a colleague burps frequently after drinking soda, suggest that she consume a non-carbonated beverage. It strikes me that she was initiating a power play. Yeah, I get not bringing scents into the workplace and all, and Id try to be cognizant of it, but I love patchouli and I have a serious smell problem I need to deal with at home that I use a lot of incense and scented oils for (and patchouli is one of the smells I use specifically because its strong enough to deal with it). Honestly, youve done all you can and more. I ate a piece of pecan pie on a trip to Australia when I was 19 and then got food poisoning and was sick for days. It usually is, but theres no guarantee. Other commenters have made some potentially useful suggestions about other sources of scent; however, my reading of this is that your coworker is being a jerk. If they were prevented from being able to smell, many many of them had reactions to the smell when they thought it was there and it wasnt and did not react when it was there but they didnt know. Anything with any kind of fragrance? I agree with the other posters who mention getting a second opinion and Alisons advice to bring in your manager to mediate. I work in a normal law firm type atmosphere and several employees are rocking strong cologne and perfume that does indeed linger in the air or on my clothes/hair. Granted you should tone it down at work, but I and everyone else is allowed to smell like the body wash or shampoo or hand lotion of their choosing. Im reading all the advice here for other potential sources of the smell and Im picturing Gene Hackman in The Conversation, tearing up his apartment looking for a listening device. Im going to go so far as to say that I think its possible that this coworker is imagining the smell is still there she associates the OP with the smell, and now when she sees her, her brain is tricking her into remembering that smell. Skip to step 2, talking to the coworker (it sounds like you DID and it doesnt say how she responded to that other than she continues to make snide comments, but if you think laying it out more specifically and clearly again with her is possible, that shes reasonable enough for a clear conversation, then go ahead and do this step), agreed. I did. Sometimes I get a whiff of white vinegar (we used it in the water under the hot trays) or that orange chicken sauce smell and feel grossed out. Used only a little, but it took four washes to get most of the scent out of my clothing. I am scent sensitive, and some scents/smells do trigger headaches, sneezing, running nose, nausea, and/or migraines. I am sensitive to some smells, but nothing compares to my sensitivity to patchouli- its really bad and triggers an almost instant headache that progresses to a migraine if I dont move away from the patchouli smell. She claimed I couldnt possibly smell it because it was only a drop on each foot and was covered, she couldnt smell it at all. All the more reason to use AAMs scripts to squash the problem. He complained for months after we stopped using the detergent that we smelled like patchouli. These are all instances she smelled. I can do that too. 5 again? I think OP has already made a strong effort to accommodate her coworkers sensitivity, and I get a whiff (heh) that the situation is not even about that anymore. But again, this might be me being snarky. You smell something you associate with your Grans house and if you loved her, then its great, but if she was a nasty horrid person and hit you, you might remember that. He is constantly sniffing.not just a little sniff but a really big sniff that you can hear in the back of his throat. Exactly. Say this to your boss: Ever since Jane mentioned a month ago that a perfume I was wearing bothered her, Ive made a big effort to ensure Im not wearing anything scented around her. My parents have one of those. I hope this works out and she backs off, but either way, as a scent-sitive person, thank you so much for going through all this effort. Oh gosh, nothing makes you paranoid like cat pee. If the coworker has a legit fragrance sensitivity than she needs to inform her manager and HR. All day every day. ), move her desk, something. Honestly, as someone with deadly allergies, Id appreciate the effort you were putting in. It's driving me crazy trying to get to sleep and I'm beginning to think it's more of ahabitual thing rather than medical. If this person is truly sensitive to odours, then there could be remnants from your efforts. I get it, scent sensitivities are no joke, and I am more than willing to do what I can make the office space as pleasant as possible, but wheres the line on what you can and cant use in your personal life because it might bother someone somewhere if you step out your front door? Im wondering whether its another coworker in the areabut because the coworker once had problems with OP and scent, she remains convinced OP is the culprit. Not wearing perfume to work is reasonable. Helpful - 0 Comment jms67 Cant remember what it was, maybe its something I still wear and have just gotten used to it. No, I think youre absolutely normal with your dislike of various scents! I switched to unscented laundry stuff, shampoo, body wash and antiperspirant but the complaints continued. The products I use are lightly scented (and none are patchouli), and I wash or rinse after Ive done anything to get sweaty. Yes, this. I really hope thats not it. shut. To me, the onus on coworkers to alter their scent behavior ends at requiring them to change their personal care products. I know my winter parka can definitely retain scents in the fur on the hood, so it might be something like that transferring scents? I dont have any advice, but I am wondering how it is fair or reasonable that the OP should even have to make all of these concessions at her own expense because her coworker wont stop picking on her. Colloquially, anything scented you use for the scent (and not to wash, etc) is commonly referred to as perfume. I totally read this as coworker just being a power-tripping, Mean Girls style jerk. That scent in particular seems to really linger even if youre not specifically wearing it. It went something like;"Pete, I need to give you feedback. This is definitely on this co-worker. They will tackle the situation without compromising your request. Privacy Policy and Affiliate Disclosures, our group member has a fragrance sensitivity - and we're supposed to be hugged to check for any scents, my employees husband wont stop calling me to complain about her evaluation, http://www.emilysstomach.com/2013/06/aversions-to-food-and-why-smells-make.html, should I tell my coworker about our colleagues criminal record, I deeply regret joining my companys leadership program, and more, my company is cutting my overworked teams pay as punishment for mistakes. Telling someone they have to drastically alter their *non work life* to accommodate someone that doesnt like a smellhell, even someone with allergies or migrainesisnt cool. It kind of reminds me of when I got food poisoning after drinking hot chocolate, and even though I dont think it was the cocoa that did it (rather, I think it was lunch earlier that day), for MONTHS I couldnt even look at much less smell cocoa without feeling sick. But some people never stop being bullies, or they become bullies in adulthood because theyre tired of being powerless. Vinegar is good at getting out the smell of smoke too. ), Or, more likely, the company will discontinue it or reformulate and I will buy up every tub of the old stuff I can find and then spend another year or so searching for a replacement. My hair styling product sort of smells like pineapple, and Ive noticed that once it dries you cant smell it but if I get rained on suddenly, pineapple. People who dont like indie-type perfumes often just categorize them all as patchouli as a catch-all for hippie smells. Its also not a popular smell for body fragrances either, which tend to be floral or fruit based. 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